…and a little bit of emotion came out

I’ve been thinking about things. The real-life reality is finally beginning to dawn on me that in about 11 or so week, a baby is coming to live in the house with us. I know, I catch on quick. Being pregnant, it seems, is one thing; I’m enjoying the lovely kicks and rolls (even in the middle of the night), I feel like my lungs are the size of a postage stamp, I no longer bend in the middle, I get a back ache whenever I try to do any work (apparently not sufficiently an excuse to actually not do any work), and, thanks to the placenta praevia, I’m not allowed to lift or shift anything except my own body, which is becoming increasingly difficult. Yesterday, it took me two attempts to stand up from a sofa. Yes, I had an audience. This is the day to day grind, and it’s fine, albeit uncomfortable.

I was reading a pregnancy book today and the chapter on week 25 provided a helpful list of baby clothes to buy (the essential ones, not the cute ones that make you make a high pitched noise when you see them). I suppose it is something to think about. I need to clear out a drawer for them, first. Perhaps I’ll leave it a bit longer. 10 more weeks, perhaps…? At the start of this pregnancy (actually since the first loss), I have been quite wary of reading ahead to the next developmental section of the book. I felt that, it was a bit fraudulent to think about what was happening whilst waiting for the next scan which may well confirm the worst. I used to read them retrospectively to find out what had happened, once we knew what was what on the inside. The kicks have eased this anxiety, and now I sometimes read a week ahead. But today’s ‘buy the baby some clothes’ shocker in the cheeky sneak peek at week 25 has accelerated my mind much farther into the future than I was anticipating.

Then, later, something even weirder happened. A very brave lady I know has just had her baby today (she has a similar story of recurrent miscarriage to me), and I have just seen a picture of her, and her new baby boy, on facebook. Amazing, gorgeous boy and proud, exhausted Mum. I’ve usually avoided this kind of thing because it was just too painful to see what I was missing out on (I never promised to have rational emotions), but I was very pleased to see this new arrival. And, something else, new, too. A strange realisation that, soon, that will be us. My nose has gone a bit tingly just thinking about it. My eyes might follow. What is this feeling? Emotional ice, melting. Barriers, softening.

Guess what… I’ve just realised… a baby is coming to live at our house… really soon… our baby.

Advertisements

It can’t do any harm… the aspirin problem

Following on from this, I have recently read an interview with Professor Arri Coomarasamy , Consultant Gynaecologist and Sub-specialist in Reproductive Medicine and Surgery at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. You need to scroll down to read it here: http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/research/talking-about-research/ I will try to find, read and share the aspirin research that is referred to. It’s not the first time that I have heard that there has been a study which seemed to show that aspirin used in pregnancy WHERE THERE IS NO KNOWN BLOOD CLOTTING ISSUE may actually CAUSE miscarriages. This is really scary for the hundreds of women under the care local RMC clinics where they still prescribe it ‘just in case’. The advice in the College guideline (the official list of what treatments/medicines work for what condition) still doesn’t seem to have been updated to reflect new findings. As a matter of fact, my GP was sent a letter from a local RMC consultant this August (2014) saying that they were not aware of any changes.

The way I'm making sense of miscarriage

There is a belief in the Recurrent Miscarriage community (medical practitioners and sufferers) that baby aspirin (75-81mg) can help prevent future miscarriages. The idea is that it thins the blood slightly, meaning that it flows more easily to the uterus, the placenta and the developing baby. This can be effective if the patient has a known blood thickening/clotting issue, for example:

  • the antiphospholipid (aPL) antibody and lupus anticoagulant – this test should be done twice, six weeks apart, when you are not pregnant

Antiphospholipid (aPL) antibodies are known to increase the chance of blood clots. These blood clots can block the blood supply to the foetus, which can cause a miscarriage. (from http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Miscarriage/Pages/Diagnosis.aspx)

St Mary’s, London, also perform the TEG test (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thromboelastography), in which your blood is rushed to be tested straight away, while it’s still fresh to check for clotting disorders. I am due to have this test if and…

View original post 423 more words